The Anti-Hipster

Over the past nine months, I have been immersed in an actual music scene. It’s not just any music scene though. Chicago is one of the biggest and most powerful scenes in America, especially in the present time. With the emergence of music resources on the internet, bands can spring up from anywhere. My top five rotation list on Myspace includes bands from Norway, Scotland, Texas, Oklahoma, and New York (okay, so New York isn’t exactly an obscure location). Not only does Chicago have a plethora of impressive live music venues and a fine set of up-and-coming bands, but Pitchfork Media is based here as well. If you’re not familiar with Pitchfork, it’s a website that provides music news, reviews, and interviews and focuses on indie music.

Adjusting to life in a big city has been terrible at times. I’ve discovered over the last few months is that every place has a group of people that I don’t want to deal with. In high school, it was the jocks. In college, it was the frats. Now, in Chicago, it’s the hipsters. Hipsters are, to my understanding, the “cool kids” of the urban environment. They wear clothes from vintage boutiques, get tattoos and freaky haircuts, and populate specific areas of town (i.e. Chicago’s Wicker Park, pictured above) that allow them to be on the “scene.” They also obey everything fed to them by media sources such as Pitchfork. If Pitchfork screams “hot meat!” the hipsters respond by drooling and begging. If one band on a three band bill is touted as being extremely hot, hipsters will attend the show only to leave after the specified band has finished their set (trust me, I’ve seen it happen).

I’m not entirely innocent. From time to time, I do end up liking the music praised in indie music sources such as Pitchfork. And I am going to the Pitchfork Music Festival in July which features some of the bands I’d like to burn. But often, I can’t understand how they come up with some of their far-fetched compliments. Honestly, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of city life. I’m tired of their scenes. I’m tired of the hipsters. And I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to systematically deconstruct the bands that are pronounced as special. I’m going to show that hipsters are just people looking to surrender their individuality and mind power for the sake of being a part of something. I now declare myself the anti-hipster.

The first album that I will attack is “Return to Cookie Mountain” by TV on the Radio. Stay tuned for that.